Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
