Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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