are you so shy because you have an std?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
