Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
