i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
