i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Farmville is her only friend.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
