I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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