His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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