I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just cropdusted the office
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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