We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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