Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You ruined the universe
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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