dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
