So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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