In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
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