I need help removing her.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
