god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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