this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
