Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
How external is "for external use only"?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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