i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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