dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
