so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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