Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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