All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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