I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
