yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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