I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she told me i tasted like america
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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