dude i'm inner monologue high
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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