i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
