you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
