He had one of those small greek statue penises
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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