So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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