there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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