I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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