Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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