i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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