Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
