i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
