i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
