so that wasnt chicken after all
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
