Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
