That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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