So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
