Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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