She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
