Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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