I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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