Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
