Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
this beer tastes like vomit already
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
