I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
