fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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