biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Everclear isn't food dammit
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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