I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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