she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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